This section INTJ-INFP relationship is about how these two personality types come together in a relationship. I'm going to post this topic in both the INFP and INTJ forums. I'm an INFP woman and recently just started dating an INTJ man. I've read mixed. All relationships are rocky. But what might cause tension in this pairing? Let's look at some of the reasons why your INTJ INFP relationship might struggle.
One of the hallmarks of Fi is a desire to preserve and defend the uniqueness of the individual. Related to a strong concern for the individual is the Fi desire to aid the weak, helpless, and marginalized of society.INTJ Lair // Advice to Those Dating INTJs
This is why IFPs, for instance, can often be found helping the homeless, working with children with special needs, protecting endangered species, etc. Once we add Fi into the mix, it is not hard to see how INTJs might be attracted, even if unconsciously, to rescuing and fixing those who seem needy or helpless. The relationship then becomes a sort of psychotherapeutic forum, with the INTJ working to analyze, diagnose, and treat his wounded partner.
It zeroes in on the unique features of the individual and grows deeply attached to those qualities.
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While INTJs may not experience the consistent strength of feeling that FP types do, they are nonetheless influenced by the less conscious workings of Fi, which helps inspire loyalty, love, and commitment.
This makes it a highly alluring function, powerful enough to inspire a fierce and protracted tug-of-war with the dominant function. Money also relates to status, another Se-related desire.
They may, for instance, feel forced to perform unfulfilling work that fails to utilize their Ni-Te gifts.
Or, they may struggle when the quality of a product or accuracy of information is compromised for the sake of marketability. INTJs also hate having to act before their intuition has prompted them to do so. All of this can make the work life of INTJs rather miserable as they struggle to find a compromise between their Ni and Se concerns. Even the idea of compromise can be loathsome to INTJs, since their idealism and perfectionism are so pronounced.
This perfectionism tends to be most acute when they attempt to directly control Se outcomes, such as when making art, performing, or obsessing over money or status. When functioning healthily in Ni, however, they rarely fall into the obsessive grip of perfectionism. With that said, pairing with an SFP rarely brings lasting satisfaction to INTJs, since, as introverts, their wholeness must come from the inside out, rather than vice-versa.
INTJs may also happen upon other NJs in their work settings, especially in scientific, academic, or tech-related fields. Overall, ENTJs may be somewhat preferable, bringing a degree of typological variety to the relationship. They can simply be themselves and feel comfortable employing their normal modes of communication. And when this is combined with the natural power struggles of J pairings, such relationships may fail to get out of the starting gates.
There are a few reasons for this.
INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility
Such pairings have a good balance of differences and similarities and, again, are less likely to struggle with issues pertaining to hurt feelings or emotional sensitivities. We will look at each of the 4 preferences individually: Introversion-Introversion Joys Introverts have a natural mutual respect of each other's private time and space; both will know the need for the occasional solitude and quiet.
In recreation, both enjoy that alone time and at the most with a close group of friends; both do not like big social gatherings or parties. If they have a common interest, introverts will enjoy those long, deep meaningful conversations they can have with one another. Both are naturally good listeners; they will enjoy taking turns to share and asking questions to one another. Struggles Without a common interest, they may find it challenging to keep the conversation going.
In a short while, they may find they run out of things to talk about.
INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility
Because both enjoy the silence so much, they may take communication for granted and not share their feelings with each other often enough. May lack a support network if both do not belong to a community because of their lack of desire to socialize. Intuition-Intuition Joys Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other.
This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other. Both tend to enjoy each other's uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on. Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities. Struggles However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance. The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled. A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.
Thinking-Feeling Joys Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler's compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self.