How To Find True Love If You're An Introvert (And Hate Dating) - mindbodygreen
When I plunged into the dating scene after getting out of a long-term relationship, my immediate inclination was to "play" extrovert by setting up numerous dates. Dating an introvert can seem a bit baffling at times, but as long as you know what to expect, a relationship with an introvert can be very rewarding. Minimize the emotional yuck with nine dating tips for introverts. Your date's talk is all negative about other people—last relationship, boss, co-workers, etc.
While this sort of disadvantage does not make it impossible for them to build a great relationship, it is simply a challenge they have to overcome. It is important for introverts in a relationship to find helpful ways to remain connected to the outside world.
They need to find a proper balance between the time they spend socializing and the time they spend indulging in their need for alone time. Neither Person Wants to Take Charge Since neither person really wants to make the phone calls or take charge in social settings, it can become slightly awkward.
Researchers Have Very Good News For the Dating Lives of Introverts
It can be nice having someone who is willing to make the awkward phone calls, or answer the embarrassing questions. With the couple being introverts, it can create tense situations where neither one really wants to take charge. Sometimes there will be situations where one person has to play the role of extrovert, and deciding who can be uncomfortable.
One person is going to have to step up, and sometimes making the choice can be challenging.Christian Dating Advice for Introverted Girls & Guys
This can actually put pressure on the person in the couple who is a bit more outgoing, since they feel the need to be the social one in the relationship. This can become somewhat draining for the more outgoing introvert, and causes them to feel like they have to push themselves when they are also feeling overwhelmed. When introverts date other introverts, it can create a truly safe space to recharge and be alone. They need plenty of space as well, and it helps them give one another this necessity.
The fact that introverts will give each other much needed alone time, is one of the most beneficial advantages to this type of relationship. This creates a much more comfortable relationship, without the stress and pressure to expend energy they do not have left in them.
Introverted couples will often find themselves spending time in the same room, without bugging one another or sapping their energy. They will relax together and feel safe inside of their own thoughts without having to constantly speak out loud. They often think before they speak, and spend a lot of time considering their words.
This is actually an advantage, because they often mean what they say to one another. Instead of saying hurtful words they do not mean, the introvert prefers to take time to consider what they truly want to express.
This helps refrain from having toxic fights, where the two people in the relationship lash out without actually meaning what they are saying. Sometimes it can be a disadvantage though, if the introverts express things in a harsh way and at the same time mean exactly what they are saying.
There Is More Silence While sometimes extroverts can enjoy a lot of noise, this is something that frustrated introverts. Extroverts sparkle, introverts glow.
The Advantages and Disadvantages of an Introvert Dating an Introvert - Personality Growth
If you appreciate your own quiet glow, other people will see it too. They simply don't gain energy from social interactions like extroverts do, which can make small talk feel cumbersome and possibly pointless.
But that doesn't mean they can't hold a conversation.
We are very good listeners, good at drawing people out, enjoy substantive conversation. We don't chitchat very well, but we love to converse, which makes for a good date. As a result, Dembling says, they have the advantage of starting to develop a connection before they even have their first conversation — and those first conversations will be more substantive and flow more easily once they do speak. Their sense of mystery can attract people. Indeed, many introverts are even described as aloof, which can be equal parts intriguing and intimidating to others.
- The Advantages and Disadvantages of an Introvert Dating an Introvert
In her book, Dembling talks about her own experience with her extroverted best friend in high school. In fact, a guy I'd had a secret crush on back then admitted he'd felt the same. Too late to do anything with it, but, as he said, 'Nice to know. Introverts attract more people than even they realize — it just might depend on the pursuer to take the first step. Introverts can make good partners for both introverts and extroverts. When it comes to dating, the introverts in relationships included in Dembling's research were pretty equally divided between dating other introverts or dating extroverts.