Tips for single parent dating
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As a nutritionist and hypnotherapist, I see many fiftysomething women.
They come to me because they want to lose their menopausal tummies. Yet, dig a little deeper, and what they really want to divest themselves of is the big lump in the armchair called their husband.
6 tricks for dating as a single mum
Their comfort eating and drinking is often a symptom of their unhappiness — but a fear of being alone stops them from tackling the real problem. I am lucky though. My mother is pretty self-sufficient, for now. My children are becoming more independent and this is my golden time. I can do as I please. I can be fabulously, unashamedly selfish. I can go on holiday when and where I want, I can eat the food I fancy and spend my money exactly as I please.
Of course, having three children, aged nine, 13 and 16, does clip my wings a bit.
6 tricks for dating as a single mum - Telegraph Dating
And indeed, concern for them is another important factor in why I am not flinging myself at the first available man. But, even if that were an option having teen children is a pretty good boyfriend repellent, I findI am still very, very picky. Do we fancy fewer people as we get older? Or maybe our patience for bad or boring behaviour is lessened by the ebbing of a biological need or ability to reproduce.
There are also a number of aspects that make online dating ideal for single mums. Instead of trying to meet people at bars, clubs or social events, you can use online dating services from the comfort of your own home while wearing your comfy PJs.
This gives you the perfect opportunity to learn about your potential date before making any commitment or even meeting them face to face.
Tips for single parent dating
As for which dating sites to use? In this day and age, you can sign up to online dating agencies that cater to all kinds of age groups, interests and lifestyle choices.
Do things that make you feel great about yourself For many single mums, a key hurdle to overcome when dating is a lack of self-confidence. One way to reclaim some of that confidence is to make some little changes to your weekly routine that boost your happiness and self-esteem.
You might set time aside to see friends, join an exercise class or visit a group for single mums where you can vent about the frustrations of parenting in a supportive and sympathetic environment. Other smaller changes include setting aside a weekly pampering hour, where you indulge in a long bath or have a massage therapist come to your house, and having a lazy day where you put your feet up and let other people take care of you.
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You might also set aside some time to take up a personal project, such as starting a vegetable patch, knitting a jumper or organising a book group. A project such as this, which is separate to both your love life and your identity as a single mother, will let you reconnect with your interests and passions, and give you a productive creative outlet. Just remember that your children are a huge part of who you are and how you live your life, and that worrying about how people may react to this is a waste of your precious time.
Ultimately, the best way to avoid awkward conversations that play havoc with your self-esteem is to be upfront early on in the dating process. There are plenty of people who would embrace the opportunity to become part of a new family.