Mourning period of widow - Islamhelpline
When I wrote my first book Tips from Widows, I gathered advice to the funeral arrangements for their father; also, take your time, if you follow a. Experiencing Loss: A Muslim Widow's Bereavement Narrative . establishing order among the bereaved, Islamic rituals are enacted differently. In Islam, iddah or iddat is the period a woman must observe after the death of her spouse or The directive of the Qur'an regarding the waiting period of a widow, is as under. . this additional purpose entailed in the prescription of the waiting period for widows to be that of the widow's 'mourning' her deceased husband.
Grief should be processed with the understanding that death is not the end of life, but a transition to an eternal one. Types of Services There is no wake or viewing of the body in the Islamic tradition. The body is to be buried as soon after the death as is possible. The funeral service, called the Salat ul Janazahis actually a prayer service offered to present petitions to God asking for the forgiveness of the sins of the deceased.
The burial service is filled with ritual and customs to be performed as the body is laid to rest. While tears are expected, loud and lengthy outbursts of grief would be considered inappropriate and evidence of a lack of faith.
It is common for family and friends to continue a time of prayer together following the burial. This is usually held at the family home, or somewhere away from the cemetery. Friends and extended family members will provide the food and other basic necessities for the immediate family during this time.
Visits of comfort from friends may continue for up to three days following the death. While sorrow and tears are an expected response to the loss of a loved one, Muslims will strive to express grief in a reserved and dignified manner. Loud wailing or prolonged outbursts of grief would be considered inappropriate because they demonstrate a weakness of faith. Clothing should be conservative with subdued, darker colors.
Women should wear ankle length skirts, high-necked tops and a headscarf. People attending the funeral will be asked to remove their shoes before going into the time of prayer. Socks or stockings should be conservative and presentable.
- The Duration of Mourning the Death of a Relative in Islam
- Islam: Periods of Mourning
- find out more!
Visiting some homes will require the same tradition. Friends and family mourn together the loss of a loved one for three days.
Iddah - Wikipedia
During this time the responsibilities for the immediate family are kept to a minimum. Most will stay together in a family home and receive guests of friends and more distant family. Mourners will take care of the basic needs of the family, including the meals and food during this time. Widows have additional rituals and customs that govern their behavior. Added to which, those widows who prioritised family over career can struggle with the financial implications and responsibilities left for them to sort out.
Their status as a widow can sap their confidence and many never have another romantic relationship. It is absolutely essential to do one of the following two things if you know your partner is very ill. Set up a joint account and make sure that all Direct Debit payments for your family and household go through this and not through a sole account in their name. Set aside a sum that you know will be sufficient to carry you through the worse-case probate scenario.
Only if it is what you both wish, get married or become civil partners. Do so at once or at least make the appropriate pension nomination if that is what you both want. Encourage each other to talk about these matters well before either person has become too ill. In the very early days, the telephone will ring constantly. The emotional strain of answering every call will often be too great.
What got me through the grief: The best advice from one widow to another
It is a good idea to switch on your answerphone whenever you feel like it, or alternatively, to get a friend or adult child to answer on your behalf. Do involve your children in all the arrangements and decisions with regard to the funeral arrangements for their father; also, take your time, if you follow a religion that allows that.
Do encourage grandchildren to go to the funeral or cremation.