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The new husband didn't appear to be he person that he was when I had money. We divorced within a year. Instill in LA, I collapsed and was rushed to hospital. They told me I had a massive fibroid in my uterus and needed a full hysterectomy, which would cost thousands of dollars I didn't have; I couldn't afford medical insurance.
Thankfully my old business partner sent me a ticket home and within a week I'd seen an NHS surgeon, who told me the fibroid could also be due to chlamydia. While I recovered I had to sign on.
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Going to the job centre as an ex-millionaire felt awful. However, I was still alive. I began to see that my life of sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll had been my downfall — celibacy was the way forward. Now I run a website for women, venuscow. I try to explain to young girls that the risks they might run now can have devastating consequences in future, but I also meet a lot of mature women who are recently divorced, and, having had a terrible knock, are throwing themselves into relationships with younger men.
A lot of these women are inexperienced and don't realise that STDs are on the increase or understand that giving your body to a complete stranger when you're already in turmoil is really risky. I'm not saying that I will definitely never have sex again, but I will never be reckless with sex again. Simone, 22, a law student from Manchester, is asexual and has never had sex Asexuality is not experiencing sexual attraction and not having the feelings most people get when they look at or touch someone they're attracted to.
During my teens I didn't go through what other people did. I wasn't even sure of my sexuality - I wasn't into boys, so I thought I must be a lesbian, but when I thought about girls they didn't appeal to me either.
For a while I called myself bisexual which you could argue is technically correct since I have the same level of attraction to boys and girls: When I was 17 and my friends were in relationships I did try dating boys. We'd go to the cinema and I'd think we were there to watch a movie and they thought we were there to cuddle and kiss. I hated every moment of it, but I thought everyone hated it and forced themselves. When I talked to my family and they explained that most people enjoy that kind of thing, I decided that I must be really strange.
I was very confused until I was 18, when I had a conversation with a friend who asked if I might be asexual. I looked it up and felt it fitted.
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If I hadn't discovered the asexual community I would have continued to think something was wrong with me and could have fallen into a relationship I didn't want to be in — I think that has happened a lot to other, especially older, people. We tend to use terms like 'a-romantic', 'bi-romantic' and 'hetero-romantic'. Someone like me who's a-romantic will generally have no desire for a romantic relationship or a physical relationship, at least.
Someone who's bi-romantic is interested in romantic relationships but has no preference as to gender. Homo-romantic and hetero-romantic work like homosexual or heterosexual but without the sexual attraction element. I was in a relationship briefly with a man who is also asexual, but there was nothing in it that I couldn't get from friends. We spent most evenings together, going for walks, going out to dinner, playing games or watching TV, during which we would hold hands or cuddle on the sofa.
We didn't share a bed and that's something I personally wouldn't want to do. I don't really enjoy physical contact but many asexual people do, and, among those, there's a huge range.
Some people don't mind hugs and holding hands but dislike kissing, for example. A lot of asexual people do want relationships and children.
Here, the number of options is as varied as your imagination. They could have sex for the sake of getting pregnant, otherwise there's adoption or surrogacy. If I ever wanted a relationship it would be for the sake of company, conversation, security and practicality. It wouldn't matter what gender the person was or what they looked like. London society ignored him altogether.
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