Are You With a “Crazy Maker” in Love? Then the Problem, Is You | sendangsono.info
Sep 25, If you're dating or married to a crazy maker, you probably think all of the The article helps you determine your role in the dysfunction of your marriage. I tell them that this behavior, this dysfunctional behavior by their lover. Jul 18, They may have a personality disorder and be a crazy maker, which isn't too far off from being a narcissist. In these relationships, you somehow lose track of yourself — acting like a maniac or They take no responsibility for their own behavior. So how do you handle a Crazy Maker if you're dating one. This is just one example of 'crazy making' behaviour by the sociopath. If you feel like you are going crazy after a relationship with a sociopath, if you feel empty.
You question yourself because the abuser is so convinced of your immorality i. Crazymakers point to an event in your personal history and tell you, repeatedly, that it has something to do with your current relationship problems with him. If you were raped when you were younger, your crazymaker may insist you hate men so the problems in the relationship are your fault. Crazymaking people never give you the straight truth. They run their words through a filter that ensures they can say you misunderstood them when you call them on their bullshit.
Excuse me, when you call them on their lies. In the same way, a crazymaker will behave in one way but insist they feel another. Or, worse, in my opinion, they act happy and carefree but glare at you and make you feel two inches tall without knowing why or receiving acknowledgment that they glared at you.
Crazymakers give you plenty of reasons to be upset, stressed out and angry, but tell you that you imagine drama where there is none and have no excuse to feel angry. The crazymaker may say you make mountains of molehills or are a drama queen, for example. They assume to know you when the only person they know is their own selfish selves. Crazymakers flip their mood on a whim.
They blame you for their ugliness and credit themselves for their good behavior. Because of your intimate sexual relationship, you question your perception and think that maybe you misinterpreted the rape. Crazymakers try to warp your reality so you begin to feel insecure and indecisive. Constant labeling, lying, and intimidating behavior work to bully you into submissiveness.
Crazymakers use your intimate confessions against you, turning you inward on yourself and making you your own worst enemy. Self-doubt robs you of confidence. The most negative attributes of adult-children do not come out in superficial connections, it is only in more intimate relationships where needs can come into conflict that the real character comes out. This is because the closer we are to someone the more we have to negotiate to produce a mutually beneficial relationship.
In deeper intimacy relationships needs are more likely to come into conflict. When an adult- child sees an any obstacle in front of their needs for instant gratification is when their worst, and most immature characteristics surface. We find that when difficult people do not get what they want when they want it that a storm of chaos will begin swirling usually in some form of them acting out in a tantrum.
Typically their chaos storm is so exhausting for whoever is on the other side of it that they give in and the adult-child gets their way. Even more frustrating, they will act as if what they want is no big deal, regardless of the negative consequences it will have on those around them.
The underlying issue in all of these people is gross emotional immaturity and control. Their emotional views are consumed by their desires for immature and unreachable goals.
They prefer to put the least amount of effort into life and relationships, all the while expecting the largest result.
This means rules will apply to you that they will not apply to themselves. In their distorted minds they truly believe they would never do anything unacceptable. In the meantime they are driving others crazy and robbing people emotionally blind. In their minds they are just nice people and are not at all unfair. Among the most maddening things about them is it is impossible to get them to admit their real intentions behind their behavior.
Instead, they see themselves as the innocent victims of the changeability of others. This means they are always right and someone else is always wrong. They demonstrate a complete lack of reliability. For instance many of them are constantly late, disorganized, forgetful, and cannot manage their responsibilities. These characteristics are normal and ok for a young child or even a more immature teenager but not acceptable at all for an adult.
As these adult-children age all that happens is their responsibilities increase.
Gaslighting and crazy making behaviour | Dating a Sociopath
The more balls these people have in their air the greater the demand on them to focus, organize themselves and remain calm. Because they cannot do this they become blaming, manipulative and defensive.
They learn to rationalize and justify all their circumstances in life. When these people become overwhelmed with their responsibilities they begin to focus on everything but their responsibilities such as computer games, reading booksTV shows, sportscomputer and they become oblivious to everything going on around them like paying bills, cleaning up after meals, doing chores, helping the kids to bed etc.
This hyperfocus placed onto meaningless activities causes the adult-child to lose complete track of time and to neglect the things they were supposed to be doing. When this happens it is infuriating to the other adults and children in the house, and relationship problems are the result. Because adult children live for fun and excitement they have a tendency to procrastinate on anything having to do with responsibility. Chronic lateness, frequent and consistent forgetfulness and the gross underestimation of time it will take to complete tasks are constant annoyances created by adult-children, as is being frequently interrupted and being talked over.
The immaturity does not allow them to have good self-control and they tend to blurt out rude or humiliating comments about others without thinking. Many of these frustrating people also have addictive tendencies, such as gambling, drugs, alcohol or TV.
Are You With a “Crazy Maker” in Love? Then the Problem, Is You
Anything to allow them tune-out the noise of responsibility. Crazy Makers tend to be underachievers in love and in career. They have no problem with the extortion of others to sooth their instantaneous needs. They rebel against structure such as managing their finances, corporate or relationships rules. They tend to have unpaid bills, lost paperwork, suffer from late charges and tend toward impulsive and selfish spending.
Crazy Makers easily gain access to control. This is because their desires are not mutually beneficial or relationship oriented, rather they are guided by their desires for the moment.
This means they apply no forethought or concern for how their desires will affect the lives, schedules or commitments of those around them.
They live according to a strong sense of entitlement which does not promote anything but the immediate gratification of their needs. In their small and forlorn worlds they never make mistakes and are never wrong. They somehow distort that their motives are always pure and are adept at marketing themselves as helpless victims if they do not get their way or if they get confronted on their self-centered behavior.
These difficult people will take absolutely zero responsibility for their behavior especially when it leads to unpleasant consequences for someone else. Sadly, because they lack insight into understanding who and how they are, these people are not going to change.
If we are in love with one of these people, it will be important for us to really understand that without insight there will never be any change. Because they are so frustrating we need strategies to deal with them. To follow are some quick tips to help aid us in dealing with these annoying people. Quick tips to deal with crazy making people: I see these people as teachers.
You may be inclined to ask why I would say that, if they are so immature what can we learn from people like this? It comes in one very simple answer. Adult children are bullies, of a sort, in that they push and push to get their way and will push people into giving in to come out victorious.
There is no confronting them because they have no insight into how they are, so to deal effectively with these people we have to grow. These annoying people are not going to change, so that means that we have to change our responses to them. Yes, the responsibility is once again on us and not them.
However, with responsibility we have choice and options. We have to think new thoughts and take new and unfamiliar actions. This often brings up fear, but facing fear is the exact kind of challenge which promotes personal growth.
To deal with these people we have to face fears of conflict and the noise of their tantrums. Learn to say no without explanation. If an annoying person can get us engaged in explaining ourselves, they have won because they dominate in verbal warfare.Narcissist Crazy Making 5 Tips That Help
If they tantrum, remember it is just noise. It will calm down if we stay disengaged. This is often new behavior because we want to say no and to have the comfort that the other person understands through our explanation why we are saying no and can identify with our reasoning. We can expect that comfort with a reasonable person, not an adult child. Be factual not emotional. When we allow them to get us emotional it is like giving a drug addict their drug of choice.