INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility
As of Friday last week, I've been married to an INTJ for 13 years. .. I would urge extreme care if dating one of these more organised, together, commander types. The MBTI topic came up and when she said she's an INFP I, .. INFP-F dating an INTJ-M here, and I can echo many of the comments here. Here's everything you need to know about INTJ dating and relationships. INFP – These are sensitive souls but might be a little too idealistic.
For one, they express themselves via their auxiliary Te rather than Fe. Consequently, like other TJ types, they can come across as blunt, mechanical, or lacking a certain degree of tact or social know-how. Their reputation as arrogant know-it-alls can also be attributed, in part, to misperceptions involving their Te. While INFJs are strong in extraverting their judgments, INTJs can be even more so because they lack the peacemaking, people-pleasing, and socially sensitive elements of Fe.
INTJs may also be labeled as excessively stubborn or rigid, although this too relates to Te-related misunderstandings. In order to compensate for such misunderstandings, INTJs might reason that if they could only understand people better they could overcome their relational difficulties.
This may inspire them to gather as many facts and self-help strategies as they can regarding human psychology and relationships. While there is certainly nothing wrong with doing so, it may not always remedy their predicament in the way they might expect.
For one, INTJs with a history of relational difficulties can be prone to attribute those failures to psychological problems in their partners, thereby failing to see their own shortcomings. While not necessarily their fault, this should comprise at least as much of their relational attention as trying to see and diagnose problems in their partners. To be fair, accurate self-evaluation can be a problem for all J-types, since their preferred mode of Judging Fe or Te is directed outwardly rather than inwardly.
This is one reason why typology can be so useful for INTJs, as well as other types.
One of the hallmarks of Fi is a desire to preserve and defend the uniqueness of the individual. Related to a strong concern for the individual is the Fi desire to aid the weak, helpless, and marginalized of society. This is why IFPs, for instance, can often be found helping the homeless, working with children with special needs, protecting endangered species, etc. Once we add Fi into the mix, it is not hard to see how INTJs might be attracted, even if unconsciously, to rescuing and fixing those who seem needy or helpless.
The relationship then becomes a sort of psychotherapeutic forum, with the INTJ working to analyze, diagnose, and treat his wounded partner.
It zeroes in on the unique features of the individual and grows deeply attached to those qualities. While INTJs may not experience the consistent strength of feeling that FP types do, they are nonetheless influenced by the less conscious workings of Fi, which helps inspire loyalty, love, and commitment.
This makes it a highly alluring function, powerful enough to inspire a fierce and protracted tug-of-war with the dominant function. Money also relates to status, another Se-related desire. They may, for instance, feel forced to perform unfulfilling work that fails to utilize their Ni-Te gifts.
INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility
Or, they may struggle when the quality of a product or accuracy of information is compromised for the sake of marketability. Introversion-Introversion Joys Introverts have a natural mutual respect of each other's private time and space; both will know the need for the occasional solitude and quiet.
In recreation, both enjoy that alone time and at the most with a close group of friends; both do not like big social gatherings or parties. If they have a common interest, introverts will enjoy those long, deep meaningful conversations they can have with one another.
Both are naturally good listeners; they will enjoy taking turns to share and asking questions to one another. Struggles Without a common interest, they may find it challenging to keep the conversation going.
In a short while, they may find they run out of things to talk about. Because both enjoy the silence so much, they may take communication for granted and not share their feelings with each other often enough.
May lack a support network if both do not belong to a community because of their lack of desire to socialize. Intuition-Intuition Joys Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other. This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other. Both tend to enjoy each other's uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
INTJs in a relationship with INFPs
Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities. Struggles However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected. Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance.
The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled.
INTJs in a relationship with INFPs | Truity
A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper. Thinking-Feeling Joys Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler's compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self.
Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense.