Why Missionary Dating Isn’t a Good Thing | Project Inspired
Most of us are familiar with the term, 'missionary dating'. In my opinion, missionary dating is defined as dating or being romantically involved. It is possible that you can invite someone you're dating to church and they do genuinely accept Jesus and become a Here are a few reasons why missionary dating is not a good thing: . I mean, you only need one!. “I know what he means, Mary.” Mary looked said you didn't.” “It's true that we were going to talk about missionary dating,” I reminded them.
Then he refers to a number of passages from the OT about service of God, and definitely not ones against mixed marriage. I have gone over this material in depth in previous answers, and as it doesn't seem to have been a major point except to that brother the last time in class the older sister was trying to find a plain teaching from Paul in First Corinthians about mixed dating.
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I am not going to reiterate the subject here. Our "expert" doesn't go along with what Paul says, and a lot of people either don't like Paul or don't understand him. But Paul is only the second most important Christian as far as development of Christian thought is concerned, so what does the most important one have to say in the parable of the laborers?
Do we relegate this parable to the sweet by and by, or do we see if it addresses "a universal human problem"? But that parable is a continuation of, Matt. And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first.
What rewards, say, would a couple get for having passed by other shiny marriage opportunities in order to marry a gospel-laboring partner? I would say that those married-couple gospel teams are pretty certain that God is going to bless and sanctify their marriage for their labor together for the Lord.
They have a firm agreement for a penny for their full day's labor. Well, what about the person in the ministry who gets married to someone who doesn't share his or her calling, but his Christian spouse supports his ministry?
One is a minister of some kind and the other just keeps the home fires going. Well, we know that God desires that we bring forth fruit, so let us figure that he will reward their lesser labor with whatever sanctification is right for their marriage.
Well, what about Christian couples neither member of which is in the ministry? They can still do the fundamental Christian labor in marriage of representing the relationship of Christ to the church, each couple according to its own ability, with a minimum of love and obedience respectively.
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God will sanctify them according to what is right. And finally there is the Christian married to an unbeliever. Well, they can't work together for the Lord in anything because they would be unequally yoked.
And yet there is the fundamental labor the believer does in living out his or her Christian life before the unbeliever.
God does want this labor, minor though it is, and he will sanctify the marriage as he sees fit.
Missionary Dating: Can I Date an Unbeliever? | Preach It, Teach It
None of this is difficult as a parable of laborers for progressively shorter periods of time. Many of the lessons traditionally applied to the sweet by and by could be applied here. For a penny a day they all agree, Even as the master doth propose, They toil and travail lustily, Prune, bind, and with a ditch enclose.
An hour before the sun was set, He saw more idlers, young and strong; His voice was sober with regret: For a penny we settled in the street; Why dost thou now for more entreat? Thou wast well satisfied before. Once made, a bargain is complete; Why shouldst thou, threatening, ask for more? Let not thine eyes to evil shift, Because I trusty am, and true. The last shall be the first of you; And the first last, however swift, For many are called, but chosen, few.
Nathless even now did I begin; To the vineyard as night fell I came, But my Lord would not account it sin; He paid my wages without blame. Yet others did not fare the same, Who toiled and travailed there before, And of their hire might nothing claim, Perchance shall not for a year more. From the Psalter one verse let us take, That may to a point this teaching bring: No niggard churl our High Chieftain, But lavishly His gifts are made, Like streams from a moat that flow amain, Or rushing waves that rise unstayed.
Free were his pardon whoever prayed Him who to save man's soul did vow; Unstinted his bliss, and undelayed, For the grace of God is great enow.
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Nay much the rather, year by year, All bend from right and to evil bow; Mercy and grace their way must steer, For the grace of God is great enow.
Anon the day with darkness blent, Death by its might makes to decline; Who wrought no wrong ere hence they went, The gentle Lord receives, in fine; They obeyed His will, they bore His sign, Why should He not their claim allow?
Yea, and reward them, I opine, For the grace of God is great enow.
Well, we see the last hired being given their sanctification first: The next category implicitly sanctified is "the brethren of the Lord.
So such marriages are sanctified just as mixed marriages are. Next on the list is Cephas. What little we know of his marital status is, Matt. And he touched her hand, and the fever left her: Peter was not an apostle, and yet such a marriage is acceptable enough for Paul's example, so we conclude that after mixed marriages, and Christian marriages, a marriage of a believer and how could she not believe after the miracle?
That leaves us to figure out what other apostles have a marriage representation? Well, Apollos was discipled by the married gospel team of Priscilla and Aquila, so unless we find a better candidate, we would let this one represent the married couple gospel team. Now, would Apollos be one of the "other apostles" to whom Paul could have been referring? Well, a certain radio preacher considers him an apostle—with a small "a. Furthermore, they seem to be treated as a pair in Paul's thinking, of which Apollos would be the other "apostle.
I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase. So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.
Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: For we are labourers together with God: Paul is using the "other apostle" as a comparison to illustrate his point that as a laborer for God he deserves some compensation. This same sentiment, he expresses elsewhere: Although this becomes a stretch to justify a marriage of a gospel team couple, it is nevertheless a legal stretch as opposed to trying to twist "only in the Lord" to refer but to the marital partner, and it is a stretch Christians are quite prepared to make, allowing two Christians to marry each other to better serve the Lord together.
For all things are yours; Whether Paul, or Apollos, or Cephas, or the world, or life, or death, or things present, or things to come; all are your's. Now, apart from the sanctification of the mixed marriage which is explicitly stated, it is pretty much taken for granted that such and such other marriage types are sanctified, no doubt.
The genius of this passage is as the poet said, "The lord soon called his steward: All this "lest they aught against me say. The prohibitions in First Corinthians 7 include not withholding due benevolence from one's spouse, not divorcing one's wife or husband, not getting caught up in worldliness, not leaving a nonbelieving spouse, and for the widow not using marriage as an occasion to depart from the Lord: And what has whether or not a widow carries on to do with it?
Otherwise he'd be acting like, Gen. So when setting the example of Christian labor to the Corinthian church which had been under the influence of false apostles he tells them not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, he is merely addressing the Christian laborers they yoke themselves to; he is not addressing the sanctity of marriage itself. But not everybody likes this arrangement, in particular the ones who married to form a gospel team: And then the first began to pray, Complaining they had travailed sore: I've been to a college age oriented church where they believe strongly against mixed marriages and favorably to couple gospel teams.
I've heard their testimonies, how very importantly they chose other Christians the chosen to marry to rather than marry unbelievers the called to witness to through their life. To be missionary dated means that your Christian partner thinks there is something fundamentally wrong with you on a spiritual level. It means that they have viewed you as flawed and in need of repair from the moment you met. It means that they are arrogant enough to believe not only that you are in need of fixing, but that they have just the cure for what ails your supposed spiritual deficiencies.Dating Myth #4: Missionary Dating Works
To be missionary dated means that your Christian partner does not believe that you know your own spiritual needs better than they do. It means that they do not believe you have the capacity to make your own decisions about your own spirituality. It means that they do not respect you as a human being in your own right.
To be missionary dated means that your Christian partner was not honest with you about their relationship priorities. It means that they do not think you are worth their honesty. It means that they placed their religious needs over your need for honesty. To be missionary dated means that your Christian partner's love was conditional, contingent on your becoming what they wanted you to be.
It means that they never fully loved you, because they were unable or unwilling to accept you for who you are, where you are in life. It means that making you adhere to their ideas of religious orthodoxy was more important to them than actually loving you.
Missionary dating is cruel, unloving, self-serving, and shows a deep lack of respect for others. I don't actually take issue with people refusing to date or marry anyone who doesn't share their faith or lack thereof. There was a time in my life when I refused to marry anyone who wasn't Christian; now, I'd refuse to date or marry anyone who is a Christian. Personal relationships are the one area where it's acceptable to carry prejudices like that. You have to live with the other person, after all, and if you aren't happy with your partner, that can send the quality of your life down the toilet.
But if religion matters to you that much, you need to do nonbelievers a favor and stay the hell away from us.
Don't get romantically involved.