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Jun 16, Related In a terrifying world of online dating, one app is being quietly, audaciously feminist I am a woman in her mids in Bengaluru. Married for a decade. A mid-level professional, whom you would normally label as one leading the perfect life. But I am done fitting in with the stereotype of what society demands of women. Be a good wife. Be a great mother.
A thorough professional who spends just the right amount of time in office so that you are not accused of compromising on your family life. I decided to break out of the box life had put me in. At least in my personal life, where I was feeling the most letdown, where I was not an equal opportunity player. I had been reading about Gleedena dating app for married people.
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Like everyone else who has been married for long and swapped the sheen of romance for the disquiet of domesticity, I was terribly curious. I took the plunge. I created a fake account on Gleeden and logged in. While a lot has been said about modern-day dating apps, where women often accuse men of only wanting to jump into bed with them, one of the first things I realised was that sex was not the only thing on offer. It was just one of the things.
They too were looking for amicable companionship. Sex was a byproduct, if things went beyond the confines of the app.
The protocol was simple. If we connected and felt that the other was not a freak, we moved to another chat interface, outside the app. This is because a dating app, which invariably has more men than women, can be distracting for a woman user. You are bombarded with messages every mini-second.
'I don’t regret joining a cheating website. The sex was exhilarating’
If a conversation is going well, you want to take it away from all that. Just easy, breezy flirting, on an anonymous chat window. Mind you, not WhatsApp. That is considered the next level.
Then I began to look forward to pillow talk. It is like the exhilarating rush of a first crush. Something that was completely absent in the customary two-minute conversations with my spouse about lunch, what the kid did in school, how we had to finish our pending errands over the weekend and other such exhilarating themes.
As I got hooked to the app, over a year, I met a total of eight, whom I call good men, in person, over drinks and dinner. I used an image from my picture library — a colourful seashell — instead of a photo of me.
When matches started to come throughit was incredibly exciting. He seemed clever and funny, so I arranged to meet him in a bar one summer evening, telling my husband that I was out with work colleagues. He was articulate, well-educated and beautifully dressed, but he had a dangerous look in his eye. I was elated at the thought of my first encounter. I did it again and again — with Hugh and others, all intelligent, successful men who had no intention of leaving their marriages.
The pre-sex drinks and dinners were almost as good as the sex itself.
For a while, I thought I could carry on being married to a nice but unexciting guy, and have my fun on the side. Email us at stella telegraph. These are some of your comments: User Melange agreed with our writer, praising her: Her story sounds brilliant.
'I don’t regret joining a cheating website. The sex was exhilarating’ - Telegraph
If only we could all be more honest about what we really want, and accept each other for what we are - all different, with very different sex drives and emotional needs. Some of us want, and need, a lifelong monogamous relationship.
Some of us need to move on after a period of time to someone else - serial monogamy.